they who stand and wait

Waiting gets a bad rap in our world today. We wait in traffic. Wait in line at the grocery store and restaurant. We wait for people who are late. We wait for someone to take action that we cannot. We wait on someone to learn what we already know. We wait for fresh donuts…

God’s had me in this classroom of waiting recently. There’s this possibility He’s brought into my life that is unexpected and exciting. (note: I am not talking about a male) But everything’s gone into slow-mo. For months. And y’all, I’ve wanted to bolt for the door of that waiting classroom God has me in. Escape. Bounce off the ceiling. Claw through the walls. You get the idea.

But here’s what I’ve been learning.

Waiting requires work           

Waiting on God doesn’t magically happen. It’s not our default setting. Anxiety, frustration, manipulation, full-speed-ahead, agitation, depression, and resignation are all much more natural. That’s why David shakes himself out of his depressed state with a drill-sergeant like, “My soul, wait thou only on God…” in Ps. 62.  Then he takes the rest of the Psalm to rehearse for himself the who and why of that. And we can do the same. But it’s going to take work. Ongoing. Deliberate. An intention turning away from my natural response and turning toward God, fixing the eye of faith on Him. Waiting, on God.

Waiting appears useless

My life is wasting away. I better pull some strings. I should make a call, shoot an email, pace the floor, do a little passive aggressive thingy…I thought all sorts of stuff like this. And I began to miss the people, needs, joy, love and service that were right in front of me. You see waiting and doing are not mutually exclusive. Waiting piggy-backs on what I know is God’s will for me right now. And when people rush to get to the next thing in God’s plan, it never goes well. Hagar and Ishmael come to mind and the prodigal son. You could name more. But type “wait on God” and like phrases into the search bar of your Bible software and let the passages wash over you. God is clear: there is tremendous value in the wait.

Waiting takes time

I know, right? Obviously. But in God’s economy there is no hurry up. No rush delivery. No snowflake before the last leaf He wants on the ground drops. There is a season to everything. A time. A God who sees a thousand years as a day and a day as a thousand years. I may panic as the grapes seem to rot and sour. He smiles at the rich wine that is to come. He makes all things beautiful in His time. Do we believe that? Then we will let time unfold.

Waiting is worship

When I chose to trade anxiety and unrest for prayer a million times a day.  When I chose to think on things that are true. When I work hard at what is in my hand instead of pining for what could be soon. When I fill my mind with the God who is behind the wait. When I do these and more, I worship. You see,  it’s in the waiting that I find the strength to loose my grip on  the treasure of what might be and light it with a holy fire. A sweet oblation. An acceptable sacrifice. You do not have to ___________,God. But if you do, I am ready and willing. And if you don’t, I am ready and willing.

That is when our spirits become unburdened to rise and soar like an eagle on the wing. That is when we know a renewed and enduring strength for whatever lies ahead. Friends, these promises in Isaiah 40 are given to those who wait. They are given to us.

God doth not need either man’s work or his own gifts; who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state is kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed and

 post o’er land and ocean without rest:

They also serve who only stand and wait.

~John Milton

Beth

women, expectations, and 2018

Be different they say. But be you. Be whoever you want to be. Be perfectly imperfect. Be amazing. Be beautiful. Be exceptional. Be the Pioneer Woman, Joanna Gaines, Sheryl Sandberg, and Madonna rolled into one sweet package.

Marrieds, what’s your detailed list of resolutions you were able to hand illustrate in your shiplap craft room while your children were on Christmas break? Where’s your 16 year meal plan spreadsheet hyperlinked to a 300pg document of coordinating children’s crafts and meaningful marriage communication activities? Huh? Singles, what are you even doing? Are you working at becoming the complete marriageable package while being so content you never think about it? Why in Heaven’s name are you only on 7 committees? Andwhere’s that financial stability spreadsheet hyperlinked to the number of other people’s children’s diapers you’ve changed hyperlinked to your 5pt plan for increasing both in 2018? Hmmm?

Exaggerated as they are, expectations like these swirl around us sweetly insisting what we should and should not be as women in the new year. But we, real women who know the not-so-instagram real lives we live, know that we cannot. There’s no way we can live up to what this world, our Christian community, and our own hearts expect us to be. And that’s ok because Paul puts things into perspective for us in Colossians 3.

v. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus…v. 23 Whatever you do…do (it) as for the Lord rather than for men…

Paul goes on a stream-of-consciousness kick between these two verses. He starts listing rapid-fire different roles in life and describing how each role can be unto God. Husbands, wives, children, slaves, masters, but not singles because we’re perfect. Joke. He includes us other places.

Paul is giving us a radical principle here. Everything that my current role in life demands of me, I may do for the cause of Christ. I can submit as a wife because I’m under the banner of Christ not because it’s easy, comfortable, looks good, or makes things easier. I can maintain a holiness in body and spirit as a single because my allegiance is to God not because it fits with the way I was raised, simplifies life, or makes me feel righteous. (I Cor. 7)

 The Lord Jesus can motivate letting myself be loved when I don’t want to be loved, giving when I would just like to get for once, or listening when I would rather talk. He can motivate washing that dish, writing that job email, preparing that meal, walking into that meeting, folding those clothes, and entering that work data…yet again. And you mind as well throw in eating and drinking for Him while you’re at it. Paul does. (I Cor. 10:31)

You see, God is not calling us to superwomanhood, a foreign country, martyrdom, or the worst and biggest here. This is not a command to make our home, appearance, career, love life, weight, or parenting perfect here. This is a call to do every detail of our current role in life for God. God is not standing at our side barking do better or do more, He is saying do it for me. Wife for me. Mother for me. Work 8 to 5 for me. Friend for me. This is at once both the high calling of the Christian life and freedom from the oppressive expectations we find inside and outside of us.

Hallelujah.

So, this is what I will be in 2018. A small, single woman in her 30s with a career and rental home. A teacher. A writer. Counselor. Church member. A lover of nature, art, music, and food. Reader. A friend, sister, aunt, daughter, and coworker. And in all these that form my current role in life, I resolve in 2018 to be unto God.

What will you be?

Beth

On Christmas poetry

I’m convinced that Christmas carols contain some of the finest words ever penned. Perhaps this is because their topic is the greatest the world has ever known. The advent of Christ. The incarnation of our Creator. Everything, everything, hinges on the Christmas story.

And if there’s one carol theme that keeps me completely mesmerized, it’s the fantastic contrast between what is happening and what is actually happening in the Gospel accounts. There’s an expectant couple. An inn. A birth. There are shepherds and stars. There’s government. Travel. Baby blankets. But we know what is couched in these ordinary things. The long-expected Jesus, born to set His people free.

Brilliant.

I could write a long time about this at Christmas time. And I normally do. So I’ve included my own little carol below not because it’s well written, but because it helps me flesh out the wonder of this beautiful contrast in the Christmas story. May it prompt your own worship this week.

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In a humble stable room,

The mighty promise now unfurls.

Against the stiff and earth-warm hay

Lies the Saviour of the world.

See the child in swaddling wrapped?

He will wrap the world in love.

Greatest love that can be known

The Father sends His only Son.

Hear the infant’s peaceful sleep?

He will bring us peace with God

And silence make of all our foes.

A quiet worked by His own blood.

Sinners now rejoice and sing!

Christ into our night has come.

Like a Dayspring from on high

For all to know a glorious morn.

In a humble stable room

This glorious Christmas morn.

Beth

it is enough: a single's response to the big question

Sometimes people ask, you know. Although it’s not often a spoken thing. They ask with a fleeting glance I wasn’t meant to see. A curious gaze at weddings, baby showers, or other crowded events. I see it in their eyes when I talk about my week or they rave about theirs. It’s the big question.

I know they ask because they love me. They want what is best for me, and their only reference point is what has been the best for them. But I wish sometimes that they would put words to this question because I know the answer, and I do not doubt it.

Let me tell you how I know.

When I am aware of a love I have not experienced. Like when I watch the unreserved tenderness and delight of a newly married couple. When my insides turn soft and quivering as I hold someone’s tiny infant. When I would reach for someone but they are not there. When I am the only single in the room. You may have wondered about this. In these moments and more, His love is enough. Don’t ask how this can be, but the steadfast loving kindness of God endures. And it is enough.

When I do hard things as one. Like when I file through funeral lines of loved ones. When I’ve laid on the exam table fearing the lump is cancer. When I’ve left a job without another one in sight. When I do long battle with the doubts and fears that come with singleness and it’s not yet 9am. You may have wanted to ask. His grace is enough. I can’t explain how His strength is sufficient for me. But it is enough.

When I face life alone. Like the thousand details of every day.  When I walk up to a dark house after work. When I lay alone at night. When it’s Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Mother’s Day, and just me. When I must do new and uncertain without a companion. You might be curious. Don’t ask me how, but His presence is enough. He has never left nor forsaken me. And it is enough.

So friends, ask. Ask so you can raise your heads heavenward and praise Him loud together with me. The God who is your all-I-need is mine too. There is a rich, throbbing glory in this truth. A platform so large and strong that all manner of men and women and children may safely stand together lifting one mighty Christ is sufficient! Hallelujah.

He is enough.

Beth 

what wondrous love

Tis the season for love. We hear it in the holiday songs. We watch it on the holiday movies. We feel it as we buy and wrap presents for those we hold dear. But Isaiah paints a love that looks quite different than the glitz and glam of the holidays. A love not based in feeling, but in surrender and sacrifice. A love that requires a response. The wondrous love of Jesus Christ.

He was despised and rejected. God’s face turns from our Creator on the cross. We turn our face because we’d like to forget we’re the fallen creation. It’s hard to look on a love you do not deserve and you cannot match. That requires humility. So we turn away in search of some lesser love to make us feel better about ourselves. Someone or thing that makes us feel less like the wretched sinner and more like the judge we fancy we are. And, like the Judge of all the earth on that fateful day, we hide our face from Christ. And He is despised and rejected of men.

By Lippo Memmi - LivioAndronico, CC BY-SA 4.0,
https://commons.wikimedia.org

He has borne our grief and carried our sorrows.  And we consider Him not quite enough for that. We thrash about for something else to lift the load. Some escape. A pill. A move. A therapy. A friend. A group. A special truth. A change. We throw our whole life into pursuit of these things. Creation groans under the weight of the curse, and we spend ourselves crying out to it for relief. We suffer loss. Everywhere and at all times there is what could have been but wasn’t. And what happened but shouldn’t have. What we had once, but it was snatched away.  What we want so badly but can’t. And we feel it. And in the fever of our feeling we begin to think our Saviour humbled and weak. Afflicted. Somehow unable. And He would bear our grief and carry our sorrows.

He was wounded and bruised for our transgression. And we would live our days in the gnawing, soul-squeezing grip of secret sin. Hiding our errors. Closeting our temptations. Covering our lies. Doing what we would not do. And our enemy prowls about satisfied and smug. And our Creator stands wounded and bruised and triumphant over that sin.

He was afflicted and oppressed willingly. Like a silent lamb to the slaughter, He chooses the path of the Father’s will. And we choose our own way. Forge our own path. We think deep down we know what is the best course for our lives. The course to our happiness and contentment must be something of our own making. Something other than faith and obedience.  Something more than submission to narrow truth. When push comes to shove, we make sure we’re pointed in the direction of our own understanding.

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But the wonder is that this love will not be stopped.

The promised love that was planted at the feet of a broken, humiliated Adam has shot up and bloomed in the person of Jesus Christ and now is the season of plenty. The fruition. The lush and flourishing love of Christ that would be an aloe to the sting of our weaknesses. The arms that would carry our heaviest hurt are even now outstretched and strong. You see, the Saviour can be rejected because He is still present and calling. He is still Emmanuel. Inviting us to drink long draughts from the well of our salvation dug deep at the cost of His own life. The love that exalted valleys and crumbled mountains has leveled a straight and peaceful path for our wayward, aching feet. And His love will not and cannot be stopped.

This is the wondrous love of Jesus.

Beth