what NOT to get your single friends for Christmas

1. A lifetime membership to Christian Mingle

2. Have You Tried This? A Layman's Guide to Snagging the Right One  
(3vol. illustrated set) 

3. The sequel to above set: 101 Ways to Manipulate God's Will

4.  Mistletoe seeds 

5.  Cologne or perfume with names like Irresistible Hunk and Flirty Girly. Especially if they come in body-shaped bottles. (editor's note: nothing good comes in body-shaped containers.) (ok fine, except Aunt Jemima) 

6. A Shutterfly book of all your mutual (available) facebook friends 

7. Twin sheets with a 30yr. warranty 

8. "Our First Christmas" photo frame with "by faith" markered across the embracing, Hollywood-esque couple on the sample picture

9. Stock in Kleenex

10. The single-people-who-have-found-'the one'-late-in-life-and-are-now-inexpressibly-happy calendar. 

11. Your honeymoon album

12. Coupons for anything appearance related 

13. Spanx

14. Stock in Twinkies

15. Why Animals Make the Best Soulmates Anyway (unabridged edition) 

You're welcome. 

Just here to help. 

Anytime. 

Beth