to my married peers

Hello! 

I'm Beth. And even though you may not adore the color green, chopsticks, writing, interior design, coffee, sunshine, dark chocolate, and all forms of donut and bacon like I do (why is there so much food in that list?), we still have a TON in common.

You may not realize this.

Because we're in different seasons of life. 

You have a spouse and possibly children. I don't. That simple fact is a HUGE part of our lives. It's changed (and is changing) both of us in tangible ways. Whether we like it or not.

Also, in our culture, our life season dictates much of what we do. In many churches we have different classes, activities, and places we sit in services. We both naturally gravitate to our own singles/married peers. You have a different a social circle based on your family stage of life. We will be considered for different committees, roles, and ministries based solely on our season of life. Some of this is as it should be. And some of it's not. 

Anyway, I've been thinking alot about you and all we DO have in common...and I've whittled all the extraneous brain meanderings down to a few (hopefully less random) thoughts. So grab a cup of coffee and unwrap some dark chocolate morsels with me while I say...

Hey! Let's connect over our history. 

No need to get specific here (thank me by sending donuts pleaz), but we're the same age! Which means I grew up when you did. Played with the same toys. Watched the same movies. We wore our hair the same way (Heaven help us). We left home around the same year. Most likely, we slodged through the same four years of college. We entered the grown-up world and began our first jobs at the same time in our nation's history. We've voted in the same elections. Because we're in the same generation, much of 'what we do and think' is similar. 

Those commonalities alone could fill hours (or bits and pieces of minutes in between our crazy schedules) with connecting. Let's do it!

Hey! Let's connect over life responsibilities.

We both got 'em, bless their hearts. We both got to shop, budget, pay bills, clean, cook, disciple those in our care, nurture our spiritual lives, maintain vehicles, lawns, etc. etc. etc. Granted, these responsibilities are going to look a bit different for both of us. But please remember that singles are not frittering their way through long hours of strolling through sunlit fields or lolling around for whole afternoons in trendy coffee shops. We are functioning adults carrying a grown-up load just like you. We're just carrying this load as one instead of two. So, hey! We can chat and pray and counsel and encourage (and swap awesome ideas!) with each other over these life responsibilities. Let's do it! 

Hey! Let's connect over Christ. 

Your perspective on Christ will be different from mine. Things you've discovered about Him that relate to your marriage and parenting. Analogies and examples and experiences that crack parts of His character wide-open for you. Boy would I ever like to hear those things! To hear how you've grown and learned more of Christ through your season of life. I want to magnify Him together with you! And marvel at Who He is by how He's been at work in your marriage and parenting. Please, do not shy away from sharing these things. 

(Confession: I follow several mommy bloggers for this very reason. Totally LOVE you guys! Don't stop using this platform to share what God is doing in and through you as women of God. You display a unique grace that we can all take courage from.)  

Singles have a unique perspective on God as well. We've learned things about Him that you may not have had opportunity to, simply because we've done life so far as a single. Ask us about that. And let's wonder over the multi-faceted glory of our God together. 

.......................................................

Want another confession? On the surface, you seem so very different than me. Totally wrapped up in your life. Like, totally. There are times I don't even understand the language you're speaking. Phrases like "and then I looked down and was covered in my kid's diarrhea" don't even process in my brain. I'm sure that singles must come across the same way. So very different from you. Totally wrapped up in our lives. Totally. There must be times you don't even understand the language we're speaking. Like "and then I looked up and realized I'd been alone for the last four hours..."

But our differences don't negate our commonalities; they only make them stand out in beautiful relief. So let's connect over our history, life lessons, and relationship with Christ.

Know what's great? I've experienced this connection with so many of you!! It's WONDERFUL. Some of you are being fantastically creative in building bridges into singles' lives. If you fall into that category, DON'T STOP. And if you don't, whether you're single or married, GET STARTED building those connections. Donuts, bacon, chocolate, and coffee aside...

We have much to gain from that connection.

Beth