how marriage falls on single ears

Tis that time of year again when my social media is set ablaze with marriage engagements and weddings. With this season comes the inevitable dropping-of-pearls-of-marriage-knowledge-on-singles. And it's quite the mixed bag of treats that come tumbling from well-meaning friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike. Here's what they can sound like to single ears. (and stay tuned for the redeeming point at the end of this nonsense, k?) 

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Marriage is the best. thing. evvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. Wahooooo! 

Marriage is sososososososo (takes breath) soooooooooooooooooo hard. 

But marriage is aMAZng!!!!!!!!!!!! (cue all honeymoon social media)

You.

Are.

Both.

Sinners.

living with your soul-mate? AWWWWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You gotta live with this person until one of you dies.  

And...wait for it...CHILDERRRRENNNNN!!!!!!!!! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

And...children. (stares droop-eyed into the middle distance)

Never fall asleep alone again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never fall asleep alone again. 

Someone to share every detail of life with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You must share every detail of life. 

etc. etc. etc.

Honestly, I'm laughing right now, because I've pontificated on the single life in a much similar way to marrieds. In fact, some of you have had a front row seat for that.

Beth: Singleness means SOLITUDE!!!! Gloria Deo, y'all.  

You: *blinks*

Beth: (heavy sigh) Singleness means so. much. so.li.tude. (insert all the sad faces) 

You: *blinks*

But presenting both marriage and singleness as two-sided, challenging/wonderful, difficult/amazing, pros/cons, seasons of life is not wrong. It's accurate. In fact, may I suggest that its also Biblical? Passages like 1 Corinthians 7 come to mind. Without getting in too deep here, Paul points out the benefits and limitations of both marriage and singleness. The conclusion? There is good and glory to be wrought by both. 

Sooooo what? 

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You know that old hymn Children of the Heav'nly Father? One of my favorites. And I think my favorite phrase is: "What He takes or what He gives us shows the Father's love most precious." Although I think that stanza was written later... Anyway, I couldn't get away from that line as I was writing this post. The connection? 

There is a natural 'taking' and 'giving' of benefits that comes with entering the season of marriage. For example, there's the removal of a certain amount of freedom. But there's the blessing of close companionship. We find this dynamic in singleness as well, right? We enjoy certain benefits because of our season of life while, within the gentle borders of God's instruction, other benefits are withheld. 

But the truth is that the withholding/giving of my season of life is a dynamic meant to showcase God's precious love for me. Not just cuz the hymn says so. You don't have to read very far in your Bible to see that dynamic. You can trace individual examples, but the whole of God's relationship with nation of Israel comes to mind. (Space fails me so I'll let you pursue that theme on your own blog.) 

And I think this what I want to start cultivating when I speak on singleness. Whether I digress on its inherent benefits or limitations, I want the point to be how I see God's love for me in those things. (because it's there, folks.) I want His steadfast loving kindness to be the obvious conclusion when people hear me. The take-away. Because we may well "trust His purpose wholly: tis His children's welfare solely..." as the hymn goes on to say.  

AND if that would be the theme of whatever season of life we find ourselves in today, can you imagine the mounds of glory heaped before the Lord through that? 

Whether what we say falls on the ears of 1 or 1 of 2. 

Beth 

a matter of prayer for the blog

Hi! 

I'm Beth, writer of this blog in case you were wondering.

Niece Emma showcasing how I feel writing this post

Hahaha (clears throat)

This is going to be an unusual post, but, you've proven such adroit and agile readers, I know I can do this to you without fear of mass hysteria or a general stampede towards the nearest exit. (can you tell I'm kinda jittery about this? Too much coffee maybe?) SOOOO....

News Flash: We are getting TOO BIG. 

And by 'we' I mean Single Threads. 

Which means a few things.

1. My readership (that's you! *loud applause*) has been increasing consistently for a while now. Which, other than having me in a constant state of jaw-drop, necessitates something more than what I'm currently doing on the blog. You know, something more than just throwing words up here and hoping you find them at some point. Which leads me to the next point...

2. Growth means change. AHHHHHH!!!!! You all know how I feel about that. But it's good, right? I mean right? Yes yes of course. And one of the biggest changes (so I'm told) is that I need a new site to blog from. Which means I need to MOVE MY ENTIRE BLOG SELF to a sharper, more visible, more traffic-friendly environment. And perhaps get my hair highlighted. (that was free) Which leads us to the third prong of this brilliant numeration...

3. I need help. Beth's brain simply does not fire on this technological level. As in, even the basic features currently on Single Threads were lovingly and patiently dictated to me by a dear friend sitting within a foot of me and repeating herself frequently in increasingly smaller sentences for HOURS. You get the idea. 

SO, would you all...

Pray that God gives me courage and wisdom to know how much of this to take on myself and when to invest in professional assistance?

Pray that He leads me to the right people and resources that will make this possible?

I mean I just don't know if I could work with someone like Hoss from Bonanza and stay focused, you know? (joke, friends, that was a joke) (but seriously, do you know a godly single man like Hoss.) 

Really though, would you also pray this will bring God more glory by reaching more lives? 
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Now, this isn't in the works because I'm gettin' the big head or think I'm all that or woo-hoo, or 'Just call me (insert famous blogger here)'. It's more of a "this is a fearful, exciting, amazing, and necessary thing that God is leading me to because He is so good and loves to use what we love to do for His name's sake." (that's me quoting me by the way) 

And I need people's prayers behind me in this. 

Also (do I even want to open this door?) IF you have any mad skilz, resources, or other such helpful tidbits of know-how about the blog-o-sphere you feel led to share, I'm here. And I may even be clutching a fistful of small bills to throw your way.

But that may also be the coffee talking. 

Also, (In case you forgot) my name is Beth, writer of this blog.

Hahaha (clears throat) 

a wise woman builds

My church is reading through the Proverbs each month this year, and one phrase from chapter 14 has velcro-ed itself to me: The wise woman builds her house...Which (in case you're wondering) means pretty much exactly what it says. 

This tiny seed principle has taken root and grown this lush jungle of application in my heart. Now (lest you think I've gone and belly flopped off the hermeneutical deep end) honestly, the scope of this application fits more perfectly within the sprawling borders of Proverbs 31. It's just that, well, perhaps in a couple decades I'll feel more comfortable handling that passage? So I'm sticking with 14:1 while thinking about the virtuous woman. K? Here we go...

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A wise woman builds. 

Never tears down. 

Never diminishes her responsibilities. 

Never neglects those souls and things directly under her care. 

When people/ projects/needs run up against her they're furthered. Strengthened. Comforted. Filled. Her life is one upward, sweeping movement. And what is nearest is caught up in that push. And left better than it was. 

Building implies controlling. So the wise woman handles life. She does not let life handle her. She looks at what God has placed in her hand and says, what can I make with this circumstance? This blessing? This trial? (lemonade out of lemons anyone?) 

But she's not a random creative. She's following a blueprint. God's wisdom found in His Word is her step by step guide. And she's always comparing her work to that guide. Am I building up this person properly? Are my priorities fit together correctly? Is my foundation strong? 

Even when there's a lull in the obvious action, the wise woman doesn't stop. She's gathering resources. Redeeming the time. Laying up qualities of eternal value. Filling herself with the Word and begging the filling of the Spirit. There is never NOT something for her to build. And if she may build every moment, then every moment has value.

She builds her home. Builds its atmosphere. Builds by maintaining it. Making it a place of health. Ever increasing and changing in beauty and comfort. A better reflection of her and/or her family's priorities. Of their personality and stage of life. She builds her family. The strength, courage, and diligence that requires? You know you have my deepest admiration as wives and mothers, right? She builds others. Her friends. Her authorities. (dare I say, her enemies?) Coworkers. Strangers. Church-folk. She builds her skills and spiritual gifts. She's not content to let her natural abilities atrophy. And she thinks: I love doing_______for God, how can I do it better? More effectively? more often? For the benefit of more people? 

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So, how ya doin' with that building principle, Beth? 

Hey! You're not supposed to ask me that! I'm the ALMIGHTY BLOGGER don't ya know!?! No really, This principle's a challenge for yours truly. Here's why: 

• Building must be intentional. No one looks down and startles to find themselves building. It takes thought, preparation, purpose...and for someone who's status quo looks like drifting happily on the sun-kissed waves of life, that's a challenge. 

• Building implies work. See those construction crews out this summer? No walk in the park, yo. It takes sweat equity. Mental energy. And sometimes I simply don't want to work. Times I'm sorely inconvenienced by some necessary task. When I grumble and complain about the materials I've been given. (Anyone could build an Eiffel tower life with her resources....) 

• Building means I can't destroy. I mean, there's just times I want to tear down all the things, folks. ALL. THE. THINGS. Situations when building feels wrong, and has no advantage for me. When it rubs against my emotional grain...

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But this wise woman in Proverbs understands something about her wisdom.

It's foundation is the fear of the Lord. An accurate and thriving knowledge of God that affects every area of her life. Because she knows her God, she knows she may pull every needed resource from a Divine storehouse. Everything for her life and godliness. Drink full on from the well of her salvation. Abide in the Vine. She knows the buck doesn't stop with her. She builds, but like a child whose hand is cupped in a father's palm: guided and enabled by someone much wiser and stronger than herself. 

So we find that this wise woman and her work is not beyond our reach. We may well cultivate this fear of the Lord, draw our resources from Him, and see a building up of everything under our care. And if the Lord is building the house...

Our labor is not in vain.

Beth