how marriage falls on single ears

Tis that time of year again when my social media is set ablaze with marriage engagements and weddings. With this season comes the inevitable dropping-of-pearls-of-marriage-knowledge-on-singles. And it's quite the mixed bag of treats that come tumbling from well-meaning friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike. Here's what they can sound like to single ears. (and stay tuned for the redeeming point at the end of this nonsense, k?) 

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Marriage is the best. thing. evvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. Wahooooo! 

Marriage is sososososososo (takes breath) soooooooooooooooooo hard. 

But marriage is aMAZng!!!!!!!!!!!! (cue all honeymoon social media)

You.

Are.

Both.

Sinners.

living with your soul-mate? AWWWWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You gotta live with this person until one of you dies.  

And...wait for it...CHILDERRRRENNNNN!!!!!!!!! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

And...children. (stares droop-eyed into the middle distance)

Never fall asleep alone again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never fall asleep alone again. 

Someone to share every detail of life with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You must share every detail of life. 

etc. etc. etc.

Honestly, I'm laughing right now, because I've pontificated on the single life in a much similar way to marrieds. In fact, some of you have had a front row seat for that.

Beth: Singleness means SOLITUDE!!!! Gloria Deo, y'all.  

You: *blinks*

Beth: (heavy sigh) Singleness means so. much. so.li.tude. (insert all the sad faces) 

You: *blinks*

But presenting both marriage and singleness as two-sided, challenging/wonderful, difficult/amazing, pros/cons, seasons of life is not wrong. It's accurate. In fact, may I suggest that its also Biblical? Passages like 1 Corinthians 7 come to mind. Without getting in too deep here, Paul points out the benefits and limitations of both marriage and singleness. The conclusion? There is good and glory to be wrought by both. 

Sooooo what? 

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You know that old hymn Children of the Heav'nly Father? One of my favorites. And I think my favorite phrase is: "What He takes or what He gives us shows the Father's love most precious." Although I think that stanza was written later... Anyway, I couldn't get away from that line as I was writing this post. The connection? 

There is a natural 'taking' and 'giving' of benefits that comes with entering the season of marriage. For example, there's the removal of a certain amount of freedom. But there's the blessing of close companionship. We find this dynamic in singleness as well, right? We enjoy certain benefits because of our season of life while, within the gentle borders of God's instruction, other benefits are withheld. 

But the truth is that the withholding/giving of my season of life is a dynamic meant to showcase God's precious love for me. Not just cuz the hymn says so. You don't have to read very far in your Bible to see that dynamic. You can trace individual examples, but the whole of God's relationship with nation of Israel comes to mind. (Space fails me so I'll let you pursue that theme on your own blog.) 

And I think this what I want to start cultivating when I speak on singleness. Whether I digress on its inherent benefits or limitations, I want the point to be how I see God's love for me in those things. (because it's there, folks.) I want His steadfast loving kindness to be the obvious conclusion when people hear me. The take-away. Because we may well "trust His purpose wholly: tis His children's welfare solely..." as the hymn goes on to say.  

AND if that would be the theme of whatever season of life we find ourselves in today, can you imagine the mounds of glory heaped before the Lord through that? 

Whether what we say falls on the ears of 1 or 1 of 2. 

Beth