the road less traveled by: a call to rejoice in singleness

You know this Robert Frost poem, right? About two roads diverging in a yellow wood and all? And one traveler, as though on a Sunday stroll, contemplating which one to take? It’s a classic. The ending is what I love best though. I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. A seemingly inconsequential choice between two equally appealing ways, and yet he looks back and sees the profound impact of taking that path. He sees the difference it made.  

We all know singles are choosing to remain (or just remaining) single well into their 30s and 40s. Still, in the conservative, Christian environment singleness is most clearly the path less traveled. The unfortunate path. The misfit path. The you-missed-the-boat path. Ok, so I’m being a little melodramatic here. But this unlikely path can make all the difference. I found myself thinking on this last week. Thinking about all the unique and beautiful of my single life. Here’s three to get you started.                                                  

#1 Time

Now don’t go blowing up on me by pointing out that we are all frenetically busy as singles, because even with that we have more discretionary time than marrieds. And time is a very precious gift indeed. It means we can give, and go, and listen, and pray with, and help, and care, and serve when others simply cannot. Think of the times you were able to reach into your storehouse of time and offer it open-handed this week. And there were more opportunities, but selfishness got in the way (or at least it did with me.) Don’t sit on the couch moping, single. Don’t fill the discretionary time with pointless entertainment, or activities that keep you alone. Leverage it for the glory of God. This is a privilege unique to the single path. Time can make the difference.

#2 Friendship

No one in my home is dependent on me. This means I can befriend a young mom, and go to them. Meet for a long bike ride with a neighborhood friend. Take the little girl down the street for a chatty walk around the block. Cry in mysterious corners of dim coffee shops with my girlfriends. I can crash downtown with former colleagues. I can go for a milkshake with a widow from church. I can meet a flustered friend for lunch during the week, or message for long hours with them in the evening. All of these have happened recently. Because I’m single. And on this path, friendships fly thick. They make all the difference.

#3 Worship

Singleness comes with its own set of altars. To keep myself pure costs me something. Stewarding income, managing time, and home, and car, making decisions…doing all of these as one person instead of two is not the worst, but rather something I may offer up. Wrestling with what holiness looks like is a sacrifice. Or choosing to stay late to fellowship at church, when I could easily skip out and leave early. These are some of my altars. I can sacrifice to God through these by yielding to His revealed words and will as I experience them. By laying down my rights. By giving up what is good for what is best for His kingdom and name’s sake. This is my secret privilege. A unique oblation before the Lord. The worship found on the single path. The difference.

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So much more could be listed, but did you catch a common theme? Time, friendships, and worship make my single path beautiful because they focus me on others and God. This is reason to rejoice, my friends. As you view the benefits and challenges of being married or single, do not be sorry that you could not “take both and be one traveler” as the man in the poem. Run steadfast and rejoicing on the one God has put you on.

That will make all the difference.

Beth