singleness and pity

Nephew Scott demonstrates my attitude towards pity 

There's a lot of I, me, and my in this post. I apologize in advance, dear reader. (by the way, you're in good company. Over 10,000 hits now!) There's also a lot of optimism here. Because that's how I view life. But do hang on: there's a healthy dose of the difficult at the end (for you pessimistic realists.) 

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I hate pity. Hate feeling its moist tendrils wrapping around me. BUT one doesn't have to be single long to experience pity. It's humanity's knee-jerk response when someone doesn't advance along the tight-walled expected life course. I think it bothers me so much because I honestly don't think my life is worthy of pity. Here's why: 

1) My life lacks nothing good.

Maybe I'm just not seeing clearly, but when I take careful stock of my life, I find that my life is piled high with good things. A home I adore. Family I love. A job that provides not only my needs, but most of my wants. Friendships galore with fascinating, talented, and beautiful people. The best local church I could imagine. Eyes, ears, nose, and tongue that work...I mean come on people. Warm blankets at night. Sunscreen for sitting on the back deck. And the good that's in my life simply because Jesus Christ is in it? That cannot be numbered. 

So take careful stock of your own life as a single or no, and you will come to this same conclusion. Look for the good and you will find it pressed down and running over.

2) My life boundaries are beautiful.

David writes "the lines have fallen to me in pleasant places." I love that mental picture. Because when I closely examine my life, that's what I see. Don't get me wrong; a single's life has definite hedges and walls in Scripture. And certainly, there are lovely things I spy beyond those borders. But friends, within these boundaries is wide-open freedom. Inside the sprawling borders of the single life, I may do everything I find in my heart to do for Jesus. All manner of extravagant good for His kingdom. And I marvel that my needs, desires, cares, weaknesses, sorrows...all of them are gently tended here.

Maybe we need to stop staring cross-armed and poochy-lipped at the bulk of our life boundaries. Maybe we need to turn our focus around, and get up, and go, and do all we want for God's kingdom. And if we do that, we will find a field of endless possibility.

3) My life is completely fulfilling.  

No husband. No children. No, you know, everything one needs to be fulfilled in life. Beth simply cannot be richly satisfied. Alas, we must pity her. Sometimes I get that vibe from others. But satisfaction is a personal thing, you know? You can't really measure it for someone else. And when I consider my 'sense of fulfillment' I find it on full. That's not because I'm awesome. That doesn't mean I don't value and eagerly anticipate marriage and family. It means that God satisfies, and there is genuine fulfillment in simply doing His revealed will day by day. No believer (single or not) has a corner on that satisfaction.

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Confession: I could've left you a sobbing mess with this post. I've known loss that's sent me flying backward and left me bruised. A loneliness I've thought might crush me. Too many tears, folks. Too many broken hopes. Too much anxiety, discouragement, and frustration. But detail this paragraph as I may, it doesn't change the reality of the above three points. 

Did you notice phrases like analyze, closely examine, and take stock in the points above? That's the tipping point. I "take arms against a sea of troubles" by meditating on spiritual truth. My life lacks no good thing, has pleasant borders, and is completely fulfilling as I walk with God because my Bible says that. I just need to reckon it to be true and act on it. 

So I reckon. (how's that for some down South speak?) That's basically what this post is. Listing what the Bible says is true about my life, looking for it, and believing it to be true. And when I do that, I find that I have no place for pity. 

And neither will you. 

Beth