Funny how a new step in life stirs up the same questions no matter how we've answered them firm and solid in the past. Questions traced back to who God is and how He works. I've watched this happen when my friends start dating, married couples expect their first child, families contemplate a cross-country move or career change...As life advances, we're called to act on what we know about God in ways we haven't before. And the old questions can loom large and appear jagged-new.
Okay, I'll tell you. At least as much as I can right now.
I'm right on the brink of a huge life step. (insert unflattering squeal) And I can barely keep my act together from day to day for the excitement of watching God work on my behalf in this change. But there's these worn-but-new questions all up in my face. They blur things. They distract me. And I find they must be dealt with. yet. again.
One of these questions concerns singleness (shocker, I know.) And honestly? I hate this question. Really. It's rather embarrassing. And totally theologically messed up. I've settled it firm in every life season since I've been an adult. But here it is even when I'm all faith and expectation, and can't-hardly-rein-the-joy-in...
What if doing this keeps me single?
Yeah, that question. Singles often think, 'God's in this. But what if I make this move, take this position, start______, leave this location, leave this ministry, let this change happen...and, you know...I somehow miss marriage because of it?' So, here's what I've been using to quell this ugly question recently.
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God never changes.
I met change once. It was a cliff towering over the boundary waters of northern Minnesota. I was fresh out of undergrad on a canoeing trip with Christian school teenagers. Cliff, water, teens...you probably get where this is going. I found myself dragged up that cliff heart pounding and smile plastered on my 'don't show fear they can smell it' face. But most of my teens? Didn't bat an eye. They laughed and giggled and fist-pumped and ran at break-neck speed towards the cliff edge and flung themselves wide-armed and open-mouthed into a blue sky. I stood 12 feet from the edge praying for the rapture. And only by Divine grace did they get me to jump once. And that was more like a this-is-taking-years-off-my-life, Jesus-I-love-you-so-save-me-now hop into sheer oblivion with every muscle tense and fists clenched.
That's how I do change. Maybe you're more of the arms open wide type. But all singles have one thing in common: we enter new phases of life alone, as just one. That can run the gamut of intimidating to paralyzing. But new things don't change God. Even if the new becomes old and finds me still unmarried. He will always be with me, always love me, always help, protect, guide, enable, and fill me with wisdom, satisfy me. He never stops being true, kind, just, merciful...you know the references to these verses. Hold tight onto them. They're the invisible parachute in the free fall.
God always works in my favor.
That means as I follow His will, I can't miss out on anything good for me right now. It's impossible. Whether the next step brings closed or open doors, advances or setbacks, singleness or marriage...God is working all things together for my good. Bank on it.
God never calls me to accept 'what ifs'
Someone asked me once, "But what if you have the gift of singleness? Are you submitted to being single for the REST OF YOUR LIFE????" (insert raised-eyebrow glare) And in my mind I was like, "Ah, no." God doesn't require that. He never calls a barren couple to be ok with never having a family. Or a sick person to be ok with being sick for their entire life right now. That's crazy, fatalistic thinking.
But God does call us to be content right now. Submitted now. Surrendered now. And as the 'nows' progress...well, you get the idea. So, single? Don't beat yourself up if you're looking at the next step unable to say you're good with being single in that step for ever and ever until thine last breathe amen and amen. Just launch forth and be content now. Don't let the what-ifs keep you from what God has next.
God's grace is a 'leveler'
Like a rushing flood of water, it raises the valleys, and lowers the mountain peaks. We can't see how this mighty current of grace effects where we are headed, because it's directly underneath us. We're riding it's crest. The crest of have all, and abound, every good work, and sufficient, in all things, perfect in weakness, doing all through Christ. And lifted on this mighty wave, the deep valleys of singleness (and we could name them) are simply not that deep. And the seemingly insurmountable peaks of singleness (and we could name them) we find a simple arm-stretch away. Hey, listen, I've proven this true. Go and do and allow God to change _______. And expect the grace. Grace to take the next step as a single. And grace to continue that good work (single, or not) for as long as the Lord directs.
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So, yeah. Old questions. New change. Same God. Unfailing grace. That pretty much sums up life right now in Beth-land. May God use these same truths to encourage your hearts today.
Beth
