something of imperishable quality

I had a post all wrapped up with a bow on top to hand you today. Honest. Then Tuesday happened. So as rough and sprawling as this post is gonna be, it's two-day strong in my mind, and must be shared lest it burn a hole straight through me. Seriously. 

Some backstory first: My church had a memorial service Tuesday night for a dear saint of God who'd recently passed into Heaven. I didn't know her well, but I'll confess to many inner hallelujahs and amens as I listened to her life rehearsed by her husband and children. It was a faithful, simple life. No fancy bells or whistles. No broad, bold-colored strokes. But the impact, folks. I'm telling you. To trace the far-reaching, eternal ripples of that would have taken much longer than those meager 45 minutes. 

As would be expected, I Peter 3: 1-4 was shared. And one phrase in that passage stood out in bright relief to me (hence this post): "Whose adorning...let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even a meek and quiet spirit." The NASB puts it: the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit." 

And my mind fills with the times I've discussed and observed aging even this past week. That march of time that will have its way with our bodies and minds. A bit of flab-jiggle I didn't notice before, a neck crease (just take me now, Jesus), dry skin from the weather. Forgetfulness. And that constant, unavoidable comparison with energetic youth (drat those two, sprightly young ladies who share my home.) Really, I'm in great health and looking good. But still this steady, plodding reality. This slow, consistent decline. This corruption. 

In this context, Peter's words knocked me flat. I mean, in this life of aging, sin, darkness, and decline, you're telling me there is something left unmarred and warm-glowing? Because what ever that is, it must have tremendous power if it can escape the clutches of the inevitable. 

This something is our spirit. A hidden man. But it's a certain kind or quality of spirit. One that is known by its gentleness and quietness. That spirit lives untouched even as our outward body fades and bruises with time. Many many many words have been penned about what it means to have this meek and quiet spirit. And all of them are better than my words. These two descriptors are worthy of much study and thought. Do that!

My point today is that each of us possess something as women of God. Inside us. Though our outward man perish, there's this inner man that does not. Let the years go by. Let the wrinkles crease. The metabolism slow. The body sag and the energy wane. Bring it. We will steward our bodies carefully, yes, but our best energy and our longest moments we will give to cultivating something that will not fade away. Nurturing our spirit. Pursuing a quality that remains untouched by this world. And this pursuit? Will not go unnoticed. God will see it, and call it precious to Him.

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It occurs to me that is really what we were celebrating on Tuesday night. This woman was not known for her 'green' lifestyle, exercise routine, scintillating beauty, passionate force of personality...she was known for her spirit. That is what sent out ripples of impact that cannot be measured in this life. And as precious as that was to those who knew her on earth, it's even more precious to Him whom she is face to face with at this very moment. 

Beth 

the 'does he like me?' game and how to win

he loves me because he looked at me. he loves me not because he doesn't look at me. he loves me because he talked to me. he loves me not because he talks to other women. he loves me because he "liked" my fb status. he loves me not because he's not my fb 'friend'. he loves me because he sat next to me. he loves me not because he sat with his buddies. he loves me because he responded like_______. he loves me not because he didn't respond like______

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Surely this won the 'most cheesiest google image' award

As junior high as that sounds, these thoughts and more can control us when someone available appears on the radar. So, how do we win in this attraction game? Here's a bit of strategy from that strange yet wonderful platform of personal experience:

Don't mistake visual contact for attraction. 

It's an exhausting mistake. Sucks up time and energy like a whirling vortex black hole thingy, and distracts one from any shred of ministry. It also distorts reality. We ladies are very good at stalking down men's eyes, and--when they happen upon us (most likely by mere coincidence)--reading into them what isn't there. If a man is serious, he's going to speak to us at some point. Marriage proposals aren't built solely on glances. 

Don't mistake chivalry for attraction.

A man opening a door for a woman is most likely not a subtle symbol of unrequited love. But chivalry is so unusual today that by sheer force of its rarity, we can read into gentlemanly acts what isn't there. So show gratitude and admiration for the man who's treating you right. He deserves it. And he deserves to be chivalrous without fear of you falling at his feet begging to be his wife. 

Don't mistake kindness for attraction.

I have great Christian guy friends. And as I observe the norm for unsaved men around me, my admiration for my guy friends only increases. They are bucking a mold that is constantly being forced on them by this world. Just like we are. 

And one way they buck the mold is by being kind to women. This is something more than chivalry. It's a setting aside of self and agenda to actively demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in others' lives. When you receive this kindness, you're experiencing godliness in its truest form. Not necessarily an overture of love. 

Don't mistake social media activity for attraction. 

Social media complicates things. Just, don't take it too seriously. If a guy's content to 'date' you by liking a status, or through venues that starts with "twit-" or 'insta-", you may not want to encourage that anyway. At some point, if he's interested he's going to bring the relationship into the real, face to face world that we all (should) live in. 

Truth: All of the above points could be signs that a man is interested in us. 

Truth: All of the above points are not necessarily signs of a man's interest in us. 

So how do we win the attraction game?

Want to win? Think what is true. Unless a guy's made his interest clear (that's going to be a verbal thing), don't assume. Our minds can go from attraction to wedding, to children's names, to retirement together in .1 seconds. And even though we try to reign it in in public, those thoughts are going to effect our actions. The imagination can be the playground of wishful thinking and lies. Win by focusing on truth. 

Want to win? Act like a child of God. God's children don't manipulate each other. Ever. They don't scheme. They don't tempt with something they can't righteously give (there goes flirting). They love, respect, and fellowship like mature brothers and sisters. Like equals before God. With all purity. That doesn't exclude having outrageous fun together. But it frees us from the stressful intrigue, heartbreak, and baggage that mark our peers in the world. 

Want to win? Say good, edifying things. No corrupt communication. That knocks out flattery, deceit, doubtful topics, strange woman speak, and any words meant to draw men towards us. We must determine to actively avoid this list. Edifying words build the hearer up. Towards Christ. They don't bend, twist, or distort the hearer. So we let our tongues be ruled by the law of kindness. Full of gentleness, love, joy, peace... And whether I think this handsome, available dude near me is interested or no, should not change what I say or how I say it. I have a higher calling to steward than that of snagging someone's attention. 
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Basically? We win by being Spirit-filled, obedient believers. Even in the complicated and emotion-laced matters of love. And honestly, if we can trust God for salvation, we can trust Him to grow relationships in His way in His time. He will never call on you to violate the above points in order to 'accomplish His will.' And he will never say: "I wish_______ would quit living too righteously for me to get her married" He's bigger than that. He used a donkey, a whale, and fantastic acts of nature to accomplish His desires. Clearly, He can guide His beloved children. Trust in that and do right. 

And in the doing, you will win. 

Beth 

I am a runner (stop laughing)

Okay, so I'm not technically a runner. 

Mostly I prefer to burn calories by posing for the camera

But I still love the pounding of my feet on pavement, constant change in scenery, and the 'conquering mortal flesh' feeling as I gasp for breath and strain every muscle to crest the next gentle rise in my neighborhood. And really as long as I avoid eye contact with those sickly tanned, completely shredded, I-just-came-from-7-hours-of-strength-training-at-the-gym-and-now-I'm-just-doing-five-miles-for-kicks-and-giggles athletes that pass me as I flab-jiggle and spasm my way down the street, I feel pretty good when I'm out there beasting my .25. 

But I lack endurance. Inevitably I start out sprinting gleefully out of control and end up dragging my feet while bent almost entirely in half (apologies to the neighbors). A vicious cycle of fast-forward and slow-mo. This is not really a good way to run.

This is also not a good way to do life. That's why the writer of Hebrews says 'run with endurance the race that is set before you.' Endurance requires an understanding and measuring out of our resources in what God has called us to do. So, because this is THEE New Year with all the exercise-til-you-pass-out-and-eat-only-bark-and-dirt-and-run-to-work-and-back crazies yelling at us, I've taken a moment to pull apart this phrase in Hebrews 12. Whether I make my fitness goals this year or not, this is how I want to run life.

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Run. No one wakes up to find themselves outside running. (Although, I can't say that I've never wished for that) Running is intentional. It's not involuntary. It takes preparation, thought, training, and (if you're going to get good at it) skill. 

This just in: take pics of your feet not face after exercise

In the Christian life, no one proves the good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God by happenstance. There's an intentional pressing forward on the path God has laid. Successful believers (like runners) realize that the Christian life is going to take preparation, thought, training, and skill. And although some around us may be casually strolling through this life, we are called to run. 

The Race. A race is organized. Some are in it and others are not. Only those who've received the 'calling of God in Christ Jesus' are in the Christian race. Make sure you qualify. 

'Race' also implies that others are running. Yay! NOTHING has more positive impact on my running than when I'm alongside someone else. Never posted a best while running alone. So in this Christian race? Find another runner. One who is more experienced and skillful than you. I've got a few of those right now, and their value cannot be overestimated.

Rumor is there's prizes at races (not that I would know, heheheh). Paul describes a prize at the end of the Christian race. A crown is also mentioned. And a "well done." I want those. So I'm not going to be a casual observer, or a halfhearted participant in this Christian life. I'm not going to run uncertainly or without aim. I want to so run that I may obtain the prize.

The one that is before you. Many run in the Christian race, but each of us has an individual course. This is a good thing. When God's will for me lies through a dark valley, there are believers around me who's course is on level ground and they're able to share comfort and truth. And perhaps when their path stretches in a smooth, straight line before them, I'm cresting a mountain of spiritual growth and able to encourage and motivate them. 

The day Beth learned there's food after most races was a very. good. day.

But be careful not to compare courses. I've a friend whose life is like a thrilling novel. Their course is rugged. There's switchbacks, jagged cliffs, and stunning vistas. In comparison, my path is quite plain. And sometimes I kinda want their course. But God lays my course. He's the author and finisher of it. He knows what topography I need to run in order to build Christ-likeness. And He know my frame. I'm called to run the race set before me. 

With endurance. Running, in a race, with an individual course...is going to take endurance. Endurance requires understanding and measuring out of our resources in what God has called us to do. This is what ties everything together. 

So what is my/your course, and what does it require? This year, I want to take intentional stock of my resources. I want to learn to wisely ration my strength, time, intellect, and skill. Want to run every mile strong and consistent. A steady pace. Run to win. Not aimlessly. A faithful steward to the very end. Because I want to say what Paul has said. 

I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing. (2 Tim. 4) 

Beth

because my Dad

My childhood grew on the edge of a small town nestled in Minnesota prairie. Prairie land makes for good farming. Mostly because it's flat as a pancake and clean-bald of trees. So we were quite proud of our backyard on Creamery Street: we had a HILL. Ok, a gentle slope. But still, it could be rolled down, slid down (with the aid of a gushing hose), sledded (sp?) down, and scrape-your-knee-clean-off-while-running-down to our hearts' content.

the mighty slope looking up towards the house

The best part was the shady woods and gurgling creek that hugged the bottom of the slope. Water enough to fill all my cracked pots and teacups, and flow into my 'rubbers' if I got too bold. Woods enough to conceal most of our doings from our parents and provide the framing for our forts. My fort consisted of several prize boards we'd hauled all the way from Mr. True's junkyard down the street. (Parents, don't assume. Get your kids tetanus shots.) Our forts were our dearest possessions. We spent hours building, renovating, moving, and rearranging them. We swept their dirt floors and entertained countless imaginary guests with considerable aplomb. 

One summer morning we throttled down our hill and tripped into our woods to find the forts completely demolished. Not just knocked over but cracked, smashed, hauled off...intentionally vandalized. We were broken. Hardly able to pick up the pieces and start again. And as we sat around our dinner table that evening, we detailed the damage for our parents. We've dug a pit if they come again from the front, but I'm not sure it's deep enough to stop 'em I gushed, breathless with drama. (fancy that)

Then it happened. From our dining room window, we saw hooded forms emerge from the dusk at the edge of our woods. You can only imagine the uproar that erupted from my siblings and I. It's them! They're back! What do we do? MY PRECIOUS BOARD!!!!! 

That's when he stood up. 

the view from our dining room table

We heard the scrape of his chair on the linoleum. Saw the thin, straight line of his mouth. Watched as he strode toward the side door...within moments we could just make out my Dad's tall form as it swept fast down our hill and disappeared into the woods. 

And you know what? I don't even remember what happened next. It didn't matter. My Dad had been stirred to action. He was bigger, stronger, and outrageously more wonderful than anyone who could be in those woods. Whatever went down in those shadows was going to be in our favor. An effective and thrilling display of his love. I straightened and stood tall: my shoulders held back and head held high as I kept one eye trained out the window.

Dad's got this. 
My Dad's going to win.
Because my Dad. 
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The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.
The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: 
He heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations also of the hills moved and were shaken, because he was wroth. There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it.

He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was under his feet. And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly: yea, he did fly upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness his secret place; his pavilion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies.

At the brightness that was before him his thick clouds passed, hail stones and coals of fire. The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice...Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them. Then the channels of waters were seen, and the foundations of the world were discovered at thy rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of the breath of thy nostrils.

He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters. 
He delivered me from my strong enemy. (Ps. 18)
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We fight battles. We find ourselves at the center of desperate situations. We harbor crippling anxiety and secret grief. But friends, we need only cry out to the LORD.

God's got this.
Your God is going to win.
Because, your GOD.

Beth