1. Their cupboards and counters overflow with holiday goodies. Whole cakes, a dozen donuts, 5 Christmas loaves, 2 fishes…just joking. Remember, oh blessedly generous friends, we are just ONE PERSON. Unless you want us to look like we are three-in-one (which is biblical I guess….) please abstain from gifting us Brady Bunch quantities of foods and sweets this season.
2. They’re juggling all the coats and foods of holiday party arrivals while simultaneously needing to stir the soup and pour the beverages and pointing out where the restroom is, turning the music down, and fielding questions about their home and their 4th cousin.
2. They’re juggling all the coats and foods of holiday party arrivals while simultaneously needing to stir the soup and pour the beverages and pointing out where the restroom is, turning the music down, and fielding questions about their home and their 4th cousin.
Twice removed. Y’all? Friends don’t let single friends host alone.
3. They feel the lack of romantic love a little bit more. Is it just me or does this season bring all the feels to the surface? The music, the bundling up, the glowing lights everywhere, the Hallmark movies… Just be patient with your single friends if they suddenly have more to say about romance (their lack of it, desire for it, history of it…) during the holidays. Christmas just does that.
4. Their Christmas décor leaves a little to be desired. As in, your tree was gifted used to you 4 years ago, your ornaments are a hodgepodge of gifts from Sunday School teaching and your childhood. And your lights, well…
Seriously, it’s challenging to invest in Christmas as a single. Feels somehow wrong to do so much for just yourself. So, consider gifting Christmas-ish things to a single friend. This has happened to me several times over the years and it’s aMAZing.
5. They arrive at festivities late and leave early. There can be many reasons for this. BUT singles are generally not used to packing every waking moment with quasi-required gatherings of every circle of humanity they have ever been a part of. (and PS: they’re probably in more circles than their married counterparts) The problem is, singleness allows for a lot of control. The holidays? Do not. It’s like taking a buffalo from the solitary captivity of a small pen and tiny patch of sky and introducing it into the wild by literally dropping it onto a large herd hurtling across a vast, pot-holed prairieland.
I lie not. Honestly though, not everyone has a well-developed social muscle from living 24/7 with other people. Give grace to those singles who bow out before they give out.
6. Their Christmas gifts look like…Most likely, although not always, your single friend is working off of one salary, one mind, one energy level etc. There's no tag teaming this wobbly blob of yuletide shopping, wrapping, and giving. So, if you receive less than a HGTV wrapped, Texas-sized gift from them this season, bear with 'em.
7. “For ME?” is a well-worn verbal track. I don't know, maybe this just me, but I am constantly blown away by people's thoughtfulness and generosity toward me in this season. Folks include me in their Christmas card mailing list, randomly show up at my door with something wrapped (is that not the best?), or subtly drop a gift into my purse. I find myself saying "for me?" all the time this season and feeling deeply loved.
Spoiler alert: don't get me a large cow mug this season: I just got one. A certain little may have loudly declared to her mommy, "Miss Beff, needs this!!!! She loves cows!" and gifted it early. All I can say is, now I do. Very much.
8. They appear to stalk children. Okay, if you get the creeper vibe from someone, do NOT include them in any activity with you or your family. BUT also recognize that children make this season go round. Right? So if a single hangs around your family or subtly asks to join you for festivities, let them. They just want to see children at Christmas. Which is awesome. Invite them tree shopping, cookie decorating, Christmas movie watching, caroling, strolling downtown etc. with you and your family. And don’t be frustrated if they can’t make it. The invitation alone is pure gold.
9. They are full of old memories. Realize that we probably don’t have Christmas memories with our own children and spouse (or they may be hurtful), and we don’t have our own one person traditions (aka quirks) or inside jokes (that would get weird quickly…). So many singles revert back to their own childhood for sharing memories and traditions. If you have a single relative or friend, have grace for this. Their memories are going to be older than yours. But it’s what they have.
10. Ok, I can’t actually think of a number 10. So, any thoughts?
Beth
