Thursday, September 14, 2017

when singleness is awesome

There. I said it. It will go down forever in the annals of cyber history never to be erased or forgotten. Sometimes being single is awesome. And before we go deeper into this highly suspect topic (I know you’re thinking that. Yes, you.) Let me list a few familiar reasons why.
 
     Possibilities abound.
     No one depends on me doing life stuff
     Service has few boundaries.
     Sleep in
     Eat out
     Sleep in 
     Eat all the cookie dough
     Clean house (if I want it to be)
     Just myself to get ready
     Sleep in
     Eat out
     Sleep in

You get the idea. So, what do we do with all this awesome?

    Store it up

    There will be times when singleness is not so awesome. It’s part of the ebb and flow of life. At some point, I will (yet again) yearn to do life as two instead of one. The benefits of marriage will look like the rainbow’s pot o’ gold. So take stock of what you love in singleness. Record it. And when your emotions flip (and they will) (perhaps several times a day) (I’m referring to a friend of mine here) remember it.

    Keep it to yourself

Dear marrieds: Please don’t share how you came home discouraged and your spouse cradled you in their arms and rubbed your aching muscles as they whispered assuring, passionate words in your ear. And don’t tell me that while you’re sitting squished into each other on my couch polishing it all off with a lingering kiss in my living room. This does not edify.

Dear singles: Don’t parade what you can do and be and enjoy because you’re single in front of your exhausted, aching, stressed, aMAZing married friends. (just forget the beginning of this post, k?) I think perhaps this must also not edify.

Truth is, I don’t have to confirm my worth as a single by itemizing my life for others. Love doesn’t do that. Ever. Wonderful doesn’t equal needs-to-be-shared. Sometimes love withholds what could be said even if it’s true and important to me.

Sometimes love edits.

    Use it as a launch pad

What can I do for others because I’m single? What can I do for God’s kingdom? What does laying up lasting treasure look like for me? The awesomeness of being single is not down to fluff our cushy, designer lives with. It’s a firm foundation on which we can launch into service for God and others. Use it that way.

   Don’t hold onto it

Most of my peers are in their first 10yrs. of marriage. Life is hard for them. Very.  When I think of starting all those challenges late in the game, I kind of want to throw up. Hey, I read mommy blogs, yo. Also, at this point I’m kinda good at singleness. It’s familiar and comfortable. Most days, it’s awesome.

That can make the unknown of dating relationships, um…not very appealing. There’s a give and take there. There’s sharing. There’s possible rejection, misunderstanding, giving up of single benefits…and perhaps eventually marriage and children. (looks away from computer screen because hyperventilating)

But singleness is not something to be grasped. It is something in our hand to use for Jesus until He decides He can get more glory by placing something else in our hand. Don’t panic and clench your fist if He starts to do that. Let Him choose your instrument of praise. Let Him choose your platform.

And let the awesomeness of singleness reflect our awesome God.

Beth

2 comments:

  1. I love your perspective, Beth! Yes, there are pros and cons to every part of life. I remember one time pulling into Walmart and parking the car. Getting ready to pull my three young children from the car along with my seemingly massive bag of 'everything I might need on my grocery shopping trip with said three little kids' and watching a young lady walk with the smallest purse ever and a spring in her step and no.one.holding.onto.her.body. Yes, I was insanely jealous for a moment before I remembered that the three little boys in the back of my vehicle were all precious gifts from God. Yes, there are times when I LOVE to shop by myself, but I love these kids with a love I didn't realize I had until I had them. So thankful for God giving us experiences in every stage of life that teach us.

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    1. This is great, Elissa! What a testimony! Thank you for taking the time to write. And I never considered the small purse thing. Ha!

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