when a friend shipwrecks

I recently learned that a friend of mine has 'concerning their faith, made shipwreck.'  Or at least that's the passage that came to mind as I saw their brazen (and yet oh-so-broken) current beliefs and lifestyle. 

This friend? We'd laughed together, ministered together, had talks about spiritual things...this friend has tremendous talent, and a personality that wins followers left and right. 

My first reaction to this news was a strong mixture of grief and panic. But after prayer and some time, here's a few thoughts that are guiding my response. 

Accept that they are personally accountable 

Who knew about this? Where's the large collection of faith-filled friends that swarmed about this person? Why no confrontation? How could________have let this happen?

Those were my first thoughts. But truth is, I can't hear every voice in a person's life all the time. And I had to accept that each of us are personally accountable to our Maker for our lives. Most likely, there were life rafts galore and countless buoys thrown directly in front of this friend. But ultimately it's the choice of the person in danger to accept rescue. 

Examine your influence

Being the person of action (sometimes knee-jerk reaction) that I am, thoughts of IMing, setting a coffee date, organizing a group intervention, repelling from a helicopter into their very dwelling (you get the idea) all ran through my head when I learned of my friend. But in the end I had to sit still and ponder my influence. I am a peripheral person in my friend's orbit. Probably not the best person to launch and lead an all-out rescue mission.

Do others have a louder voice in my friend's life? Yes. So I find these people and encourage them. Pray specifically for them. Ask how I can best hold the ropes for them. And seek the Lord about increasing my own influence in this friend's life.

Act on the value of prayer

Prayer is not a second-hand option. A frayed version of some better game plan. It's not to be entered into with a sigh and a "I guess this is all I can do." Prayer is something that God calls us to, guarantees His attention, and promises a definite response. When I pray, I can ask for things that only God can do. Like conviction. And prayer sees God-sized results. Do I believe that? Then I would act on it. 

Be ready for when they 'come to' 

Someday, by God's mercy, my friend will wake up. And it's not going to be pretty. Like a flailing, wounded victim, they're going to need someone's help in that moment. Someone to speak life-restoring truth into their lives. To pour in the healing salve of hope. Going to need the supporting assurance of mercy as they confess and forsake their sin. 

I want my friend to know that I'm ready and available when they reach that point. A phone call away. A short drive. Here's my address. Here's where I'll be every Sunday and Wednesday night. You know where to find me during the week. Call. Come. Write. Anything. I'm here. I love you. Because God first loved us. 

Believe that God can

I don't have to "saviour." God does that. He's the master rescuer. But can God in this situation? Honestly folks, my friend's in deep.

God can. My Bible says it. In fact, there's not room to list the broken, maimed, thousand-sharded lives that His grace has touched and made whole from Creation onward.  And He's got a stake in this much deeper than I do. It goes down to His very image. 

............................................

So I go forward with steady confidence. Understanding that it's not my fault (or someone else's.) Knowing my role. Praying earnestly. Ready. And believing. Believing that my friend's story doesn't end with a shipwreck. Believing that on the next page is a rescue wrought by the power of God. 

Beth