I'm mesmerized by them. The thrill of seeing friends brought together as one for life? There's nothing like it. And any event with fresh bouquets of lush flowers and live classical music has an automatic place in my heart.
There's a broad spectrum of opinion and experience when it comes to weddings and singles. But marrieds tend to fit into five kinds of people as they relate to unmarrieds at these events. Here they are for your enlightenment and entertainment.
1. The sad sympathizer Is it hard for you to be here? I'm sure it must be. It must be horrible. Your entire life must be horrible. I am so grieved that you are single, and cannot figure out for the life of me why you would be. This is followed by the furrowed brow, shaking head, and sigh every time you make eye contact with this person throughout the event.
2. The happy hopeful
The hopeful is easy to spot because they're a radioactive blur of positive vibes. Look how happy this couple is! I just know you will be too. Why, you are SO good looking, talented, and successful. What ARE the singles around you thinking! It's going to be wedding bells for you soon! This is followed by the double raised eyebrow, wink, and thumbs up whenever you make eye contact with this person throughout the event.
3. The forceful fanatic
The fanatic has figured out why you're not married and wants to fix it immediately. Talk more! Laugh more! Be quieter. Sweeter. Be mysterious (???). Why don't you go apply more lipstick. Have you met that attractive single over there (winkadeewinkwinkwink)? This is followed by stalker-like behavior throughout the event. And, unless the single woman hides creatively (think baptismal) the fanatic will hunt them down and dramatically position them front and center for the bouquet toss.
4. The unsure avoider
The avoider is aware of singles at weddings but doesn't know what to say or do around them. So they avoid them like the plague. You will find them relaxed until confronted with the single. Then all at once awkward and mummified. This is followed by the deer in the headlights look every time they make eye contact with the single at the event.
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So, how should marrieds act around singles at weddings?
Are you a close friend of the single wedding-attender? Then be a close friend at the wedding.
Are you a casual acquaintance? Then don't worry about being something more.
Will a single you know be attending the same wedding alone? Consider asking them to join your family for the event. Weddings and funerals are hard to do as one.
Perhaps you're overwhelmed with the sacredness of the ceremony? Can't get over how perfectly matched the bride and groom are? Marveling over the big kiss? By all means, please share these musings with the singles around you. They are a part of this event and loving it too.
Now would be the moment to give glory to God for the great thing He has done in bringing this couple together. Now would be the time to share memories of your own wedding. To ask the single what they have especially enjoyed about the ceremony, or how they met the bride and groom. No need to shift the focus onto the single's singleness. Trust me.
In fact, there is a 5th kind of married person at weddings. The gracious person. Singles love them. And I've been privileged to find many of them at the weddings I attend. Singles can hang around these people with ease and enjoy the event together. Without fear of hurt or awkwardness. Be that gracious person. Be kind, and considerate. Friendly and funny. Tactful and caring. Normal. And you will bless many around you at weddings this summer.
Singles included.
Beth
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