When you find yourself on the path less traveled: a philosophy of singleness

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"I think God will keep me single for a while" A young Beth told her mom.

(Okay, perhaps not quite that young, but I just love this pic)

Fast forward from that talk with Mom through several years of college, evangelistic teams, Christian camp work, foreign missions, an unexpected Master's degree... and countless times of wondering:

 "Now what?" "Is it time yet, God?"

All while fielding the barrage of questions that singleness generates. 

• WHAT? No ring on your finger? 
• Why aren't you married? 
• You, single? 
• What is wrong with the guys around you? 
• How have you escaped the clutches of matrimony so LONG?
• When will you finally settle down?
• Are you fighting against God's created design?

And there's no pat answer. 

Most answers singles come up with don't seem to satisfy others or help much when the hurt comes anyway. And we are soon left harboring the same questions that are so innocently brought before us. 

And the question at the root of it all:

Why, God. Why this? 

So, because I know you are all sorely desiring to know what my single philosophy is (insert wiggling eyebrows and a look of suspense.) Here it is in three easy truths: 

Truth #1 God is in it for His glory's sake. 

From Genesis to Revelation. Trace it. He creates to bring Himself glory. He reveals Himself to individuals and whole people groups to show His glory. He works miracles that showcase His glory. He leads, protects, provides, and cares for His people for His name's sake. When His people fail to bring Him the glory He deserves, He corrects them. The majority of the New Testament provides practical instruction for how His people can best glorify Him. And the end of it all? He restores His broken, fumbling, flesh ridden children to perfection in Heaven. Why? So they can glorify Him perfectly-- for all of eternity. 

Truth #2 I'm in it for His glory's sake. 

I was created to bring Him glory. I'm His. And when I sort through the piles of debris that single life leaves scattered about me, I find one desire that remains constant and strong:

More than anything, I want God to receive the greatest glory possible.
More than I want--

• a husband. 
• children.
• a normal home.
• secure future. 

More than I want a typical life-- I want to do what I was created to do. To stand before Him one day and present Him a life that in every situation and every season, brought the greatest glory possible to His name. 

But lest this paint me with a gilded brush, remember this: If you are His child, you will find this desire in you too. It is God-wrought. 

Truth #3 God is always at work in my life for His glory's sake. 

Hang with me, friends. This is where the rubber meets the road. 

Truth #3 means, if I am single, this is how God can receive greatest glory from my life right now. I don't have to lick the wounds of my single life longing for a season when I can do more for Him. I don't have to view my life like a "sub par holding pattern" until marriage happens. 

God is too concerned for His glory 
to let His children squander their lives like that. 

Dig deeper into this truth and you will find a reason to enjoy this season of life. A freedom from the crushing pressure to leave it. And the sparkling possibility of contentment in the right now. 

And when God determines I can bring Him more glory by being married, He's gonna do that. He's going to. He's in it for His glory's sake. And so am I. And if I'm walking with Him, I can't miss it. 

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Isn't this just another trite answer to the singleness questions?

Perhaps. But the Biblical roots of these truths run deep. They have held me firm through the storms of failed relationships and secret crushes. (shhh, don't tell anyone I've struggled with those.)

I wish this triad of truths was like a lucky charm that would make my life all at once magically delicious. But it's not. It doesn't take away natural desire for marriage. It doesn't stop people's comments. And it's not a force field that protects against hurt. 

BUT these three statements can be believed. And, as it is with all Biblical truth, that response is our greatest privilege and our greatest advantage in this life. 

May God help us live it.

Beth

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Coming Soon: Why there's a chocolate stain on my bathroom mat (A single's thoughts on hospitality)