"but I have..." (marriage vs. singleness)

Sometimes I hear this from singles: "Well, they may have a spouse, but I have Christ." 

And I hear this from marrieds:  "Oh honey, Christ is good but wait til you're married!"

But can having Christ and having a spouse be compared like that? Here's some thoughts:

From a spiritual perspective, I have Christ.

And He is all I need and I am complete in Him (Col. 2:10). Since this is true of all believers, let's call it a foundation. There is no lack of any good thing in this foundation (Ps. 84:11). God has given each of His children everything they need for life and godliness in it (2 Pet. 1:3). 

From a physical perspective, I may be married or single. 

Each have benefits. Each have joy, life wisdom, securities, and pleasures that are unique to them. BUT the physical doesn't add to a foundation that was lacking. Nor does it decrease or increase the spiritual foundation. Someone is not more/less spiritual because they are married or single. In all history God has used and blessed both.

Here's a visual:    Physical reality: married or single
                          Spiritual foundation: God's child 

I know it's going to be hard to pull yourself away from the technical brilliance of that visual but do try to read on...

So how do we respond to our physical reality? 

1. Accept it as from God's hand.

Does today find you single or married? God did that. And if God did it, it's good. And it's for His glory. He does what He pleases in Earth and Heaven. Relax into it. 

2. Do not compare ourselves to others.

Comparison between marrieds and singles happens all the time. And it usually generates pride or jealousy. I Corinthians warns that those who compare are not wise. Find the way of escape and avoid this temptation. 

3. Do become skillful in using our physical reality for God's glory.

As a single, am I growing in "caring for the things of the Lord?"  How am I training the benefits of singleness towards glorifying God? As a married, how am I training my marriage, my family, my everyday caring-for-the-home chores to bring the most glory to God? 


And how do we respond to our spiritual foundation?

Jeremiah says, "let him that glorieth, glory in this: That He understands and knows me..." And Paul repeats that command in 1 Cor 1. MANY more scriptures could be listed here. Challenging me to treasure Christ and glory in my life in Him above all else. 

And here's what glorying looks like (from personal experience)

1. Sitting in the kitchen of a talented missionary wife, mother of five gifted children, helper in a vibrant ministry...and her (with spatula in hand) choosing to share spiritual lessons so dear to her heart that both of us can't help but rejoice over God's loving kindness to us.

2. Sipping a steaming cup of tea with a highly successful, professional single woman whose gifts have been lauded by large audiences across the world and her choosing to detail for me how God has made Himself real to her recently. Leaving us both refreshed and motivated to walk closer with Him. 

3. Munching on Japanese take-out with a recent widow and hearing her recount her new-found opportunities to minister in a children's Bible Club, disciple several young women, and open her home to young families. A living, breathing example of someone growing skillful in using their physical reality for God's glory. 

4. Listening to a young dad, with all the pressures, titles, and accomplishments of his crazy life, choose to give such powerful testimony of what he's learning in God's Word that we all can't wait to get home and open our own Bibles again. 
...........................................

What a beautiful exchange it would be if we replaced inaccurate and hurtful "but I have" comparison with "look what we have" delight. 

Friends, let's glory in Christ.

Beth